I am truly amazed by the outpouring of love and support that I have received throughout the last couple of months. It has been the only light in this darkness. I am humbled and so, so grateful. In all honesty, I don’t know if I would be here without the support of my wonderful community.
I’m pretty sure my parents saved my life. They dropped everything they had going on in their lives in Grand Junction and drove to me the minute they found out what happened. They have been with me ever since. They have been with me during breakdown after breakdown. They did everything for me as I struggled through shock and grief. They are still here today as I try to create some semblance of a life for myself. I am able to somewhat function now, but I still need their emotional support.
I am so thankful for my sister who got on a fight from England the moment that she could. She stayed up nights with me while I drunkenly sobbed, feeling that my life was over. Shes back in England now, but she messages me everyday and often makes me talk even when I don’t want to, which is pretty much all the time. She does research for me from afar, finding benefits I can apply for and other emergency help organizations. She offers me humor when I don’t want to laugh and her beautiful heart when I feel like I’m drowning.
I am so thankful for my best friend. She made me get out of bed when I felt like I was dying. She took care of my finances, she made all the calls that I couldn’t make. She freed my parents from those burdens so that they could focus on me. She cried with me and grieved with me. She was the first one on the scene after Ryan died. She sat with me on my patio for 12+ hours while the coroner and the investigator completed their work. She stayed after to clean my house and make it ready for my parents. She brought food and lots of wine whenever I needed it. Just having her sit with me time and time again was another life saver. Having her tell me that she can’t live without me somewhat pulled me out of my trauma, depression and severe grief. She is my soul sister and I am so fortunate to have her in my life.
I am so thankful for one of my oldest friends who drove like a crazy person to get to me the second she found out. She brought humor and levity to the worst day of my life. She stayed with me all night and we watched Labyrinth just like when we were kids. You know who you are sister! Big loves!
I am so thankful for every single person in my community who helped me during this time. For every person who brought food. For every one of you who sent messages of love and condolences. For every single person that I never even met, but reached out with offerings anyways. For everyone who offered me body work, knowing about my struggles and offered your healing treatments. For every person who bought my art, making the financial burdens easier. For everyone who still checks on me. You make me feel like I’m not forgotten. For everyone who has been touched by this kind of grief in their own lives. No one can know what this is like unless you have gone through it and I appreciate so much the camaraderie that I have found in all of you. The lovely people I have met through this impossible experience of losing the one I loved the most.
To everyone who has been there, who has shown up, I am so thankful. All of you together saved my life and gave me hope. You fortified me with your love and gave me the strength to carry on. Your love and kindness is everything. Thank you!
